So my Saturn’s Return is winding down. I can totally handle that. It’s been a crazy time since December 2011. (Here’s a calc to figure out your SRs.) I’ve come a long way, baby. I’m ready to settle into adulthood, so the legend goes. I definitely feel I’ve undergone an intense period of change. And I’ve come to terms with the fact that I may always be subject to such rapid change and have stopped fighting against it. Let it be!
So here’s just a smattering of what I’ve been thinking. Today. Since I woke up, got ready for work, rode the bus here, and sat down at my desk.
I’m getting used to less conscious brain activity—I don’t have to think so much all the time!! Analysis wears on me and disconnects me from the present.
I’ve been clinging to cognitive processes and it’s been keeping me from the present-I’ve been trying to predict or analyze the present, which prevents me from being in it.
At first I was frightened by these changes and feelings, but now I welcome them!
For the first time in my life, I’m allowing myself everything I need to grow! It’s so exciting!!! I’m claiming myself for me, and it feels amazing. Wow. I’ve always taken someone else into account first. But I deserve top billing in my brain.
I think the only way I knew how to get space in a relationship before now was to separate myself from the person. But I don’t need to do that now because I know I can ask for space and get it! Yay!!
I don’t feel the need for so much outside connection because I’m finally connecting with myself. I’ve never felt so secure in my ability to be.
As Saturn exits, I feel more and more like Venus… ;)